Don’t fall in the trap of speeding in every direction out of fear of missing the path. There is no right path, no fixed rules, only intent, will and outright determination. You need extreme precision to fulfil an aim; that demands singular focus. Fear of missing out is a self-imposed limitation that stops you from pursuing what your heart continues to yearn. You look around, you see abundance; you don’t know where to start. It overwhelms you. You ask yourself, where is all this opportunity coming from, what am I to do with it? But you ask yourself the wrong questions, or better yet, you ask the right questions in the wrong way, which may not lead to the resolution you are seeking. What if you are looking for the wrong things, in the wrong places? Other times, you look for an answer where no answer is conceivable, perhaps not needed; sometimes your deepest worries need no solution, they must be lived through until their end for the realisation to become manifest.
You retreat in your house in spirit of indecision. Immediately, you are conflicted as to the right course of action, whether or not your heart is leading you astray. Lack of trust is immanent, you don’t know where to lay it; your stubborn head or your heart, larger than logic? You are frustrated, confused, scattered within yourself. A predicament of choice, where to start and where to stop; the predicament of freedom. This freedom disturbs you if you have not made up your mind, searching for your own love and obsession, what sets your heart ablaze. For that reason, you find you lack the focus and intensity necessary to make headway in a singular direction. Sometimes, as perverse as it may sound, it is not focus that your soul yearns for, but complete lack of convergence, a whirlpool of chaos where many of your thoughts and compulsions revolve around innumerable different things, and your emotions turn around on themselves in awkward or otherwise violent spasms.
You must pick a door, walk its passage with an open heart, as if it were the ‘right’ corridor all along. A commitment of faith above all else, telling yourself there is no right course, right action, right truth. The corridor through which you proceed to walk will, inevitably, lead to your deepest, most profound desires, so long as you proceed faithfully, but perhaps not; fearful, uncertain, trembling; these compulsions are crucial symptoms, insights that will steer the corridors of fate and will. For long, you have been told that you have power over your life, how singular focus in anything guarantees lasting success – few speak of the difficulty in going against the grain of your character, as you do when you are forced by circumstance, or intense desire for greatness – a compulsion to conquer yourself, the appetite for destruction, the craving to surmount all odds, tempered by the fear of crashing into pieces, or of being nothing more than average.
No matter the door you have picked, they all doubtlessly lead to the desired outcome you have contemplated. It is useful, even liberating to understand that different passages, though apparently separate, are interrelated in ways unknowable.. whatever choices you have to pick from, they have come together for a more pronounced cause than you may conclude. When it is time to make a choice, do not hesitate or think over; trust your spontaneity — some decisions must be taken swiftly with no premeditation, with the knowledge that no choice is a limitation in itself, no path taken an eternal loss. The limitations that hurl at you arise in the mind, where you are liable to stumble in your own thoughts in haste, worry, but you must remember… sometimes thinking complicates things without seeking a solution, what is it you do when you are seeking solutions? You think over, and over, and over, like a neurosis, it grows into disease that is dangerously infectious, as you pass it to yourself undeservedly, at times when you deserve some solitude, rather than excessive going over.
I don’t think you can easily talk yourself out of your normal ruts, years of reinforcement, but you can certainly expand your consciousness, so it doesn’t overshadow your breath of life and everything you can contribute. You, like every human being, have a divine calling whether you believe it or not, whether by hook or by crook, you will be whispered and given inklings, it is your duty to keep your ears open and your vision clear, beyond the chaos and disorder that muddles your judgement and ways of thinking.